Today has reached epic levels of gastrointestinal interest. I won't go into details, but strange things are afoot in my natural processes. I'm fairly certain that an X-ray would produce an image of an early Atari 2600 cartride somewhere in my tummy. If you were looking for an impassioned argument from me to contest your suggestion that it might have had to do with today's diet of Cheezits and Mountain Dew, you may be greatly disappointed by my response.
Highs and lows abound. Let us start with Ghost Rider.
I went into the movie hearing that there was nothing in the movie. It was hollow, it was weak, and it was just there to get a movie made with that name on it, and dabgunnit, that all turned out to be entirely true. What I didn't expect was to see the demon Zarathos tossing out one-liners and catch phrases. As it turns out, that's exactly what I -didn't- see, because they left him out of the movie entirely. Johnny Blaze isn't possessed, he's just imbued with Hell-energy or something. Wisecrackin' like Spider-Man. And his big evil demon adversary was a coffee-shop-dwelling haiku-writing motherfucker named Hunter. The big fight scenes consisted of the big bad demons leering threateningly and standing there while the hero hits them.
I'd want my money back, but not the amount of time I spent watching it. I knew what I was getting into. It's the kind of bad that I can have a good sense of humor about.
Smokin' Aces. Really, it was a great movie while it was being advertised as a clusterfuck of interested parties trying to kill one guy. It's when they started bringing in plots that it all went to shit. You can actually tell the scenes that were thrown in there to try to add more plot, and it's painful to watch the transition, because the "plot" has nothing to do with the events. Some smartass is going to completely miss the point of that line and post a comment telling me what it had to do with the events, but that person will be wrong, wrong, wrong, because they won't have spent more than three seconds seeing what I mean. It goes "story progression, story progression, overdrawn pointless dialogue, disturbing and annoying scene that has nothing to do with anything, story progression, distracting side scene, overdrawn pointless dialogue, sudden gap in any kind of progression at all, random generic anger, bullshit ending." It left characters hanging. It's like it had four directors, and one of them was really, really good. It should have just done what it was good at, and that was bring stories and characters together. I was sad that it turned out this way.
And on that note, the prizes for Cracker Jacks have gone to utter and absolute shit. A few weeks ago, I bought a package of three boxes, and all three were collectable miniature trading cards for "Everyone's Hero." I felt so robbed. So very, very robbed. There were about two peanuts in each box. This was a beloved staple of my childhood, and it tasted nasty and denied me of any kind of fun I'd have with its contents. And the boxes were inexplicably difficult to get into. Perforating a thumbhole in a box is apparently beyond the technological grasp of the good people of Frito Lay. This is a horrible perversion of something I once held so dear.
But I'm still in a great mood, and it has nothing to do with anything that's happened to me. It's been a really good month, and it will be even better once the state personnel board finally puts me back on the certification list for the promotion I'm getting.
Making things happier is the release of God of War 2, the game for which I have waited EONS. On principal, I do NOT reserve any games for purchase, and I sure as hell don't pay to reserve them. Thus, I was not one of the people to receive it on the day it came in.
However.
I have a friend at work who HAD reserved it. And he's going to be in Vegas this week with his girlfriend. And he wants somebody to keep the game company so it doesn't feel lonely. And that somebody is DAVE. And I played the shit out of it, which is why my diet has been what it has been. And I have beaten it, and I have declared it good, yea and verily and so forth. Perhaps I'd be hesitant to declare it a worthy successor, but not to declare it a worthy addition. It's missing some beloved features, but they're things that are understood to be too good to make it into the next game. Things you just miss, different button configurations...it's not the original, but it's still God of War.
Not like Knights of the Old Republic 3, which the unwashed heathens still refer to as Neverwinter Nights 2. If you've seen both games and you don't know what I mean, I have no reservations about referring to you as helmet-and-harness retarded.
This post may look like it's full of the bad, but I assure you, I'm in a great mood. I AM FULL OF LOVE. :D
Also, I have about a hundred pages of my next book a-written.
And for those of you still waiting for the first one, Mom's been having some time issues and won't be reading it, and since Jen's going through something similar, it's time to send it off to the next person. WHO WANTS IT?
Current mood: 
cheerful